Stealthfield goes wildly inappropriate

Yeah. It was a boring Friday night and all of us were missioning in separate systems, trying to recoup from the last deployment to Branch. Suddenly I spy Jalak and Ruric(2 of my directors) alone in a ventrilo room together, their push-to-talk signals going green alternately. My interest piqued, I dropped down, silent as a stealth bomber.

Jalak: "Yeah, it's been so boring lately. I'm tired of flying one jump, killing some pirates, and making a meagre two million ISK every twenty minutes."

Ruric: "Yeah, I've been mining this fucking Veldspar 'roid for 5 hours straight. When I close my eyes, I can still see all of it's pits and crevasses."

Jalak: "Lets do something. Something fun. Something fabulous. Something...wildly inappropriate. Like a gay orgy."

Ruric: "Wow, we totally sho-"

Securitas: "Stop right there!"

THE REST OF THIS BLOG HAS BEEN DEEMED WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE AND IS CENSORED.

...okay not really.

We were bored in highsec, we weren't making much isk, and we also were itching for combat. So, we hit up our old friends in Ethereal Dawn and suddenly we had landed ourself a job in that most inappropriate of regions; Geminate.

With a click of our collective heels, we headed out to the nearest lowsec and proceeded to wreak havoc on the southern tip of Wildly Inappropriate's space.

If the previous sentence sounded at all impressive, I'm sorry. Most of that space is quite possibly the most empty I've ever seen, not counting those parts of Oasa where you jump 2 hours before downtime and are told that the system has not yet loaded. Thus, "wreaking havoc" has been limited to simply killing some various ratters with our ED friends, except for one notable and very fun instance.

But before we get to that, I want to briefly expand on the insane fun and craziness that has resulted in the recruitment of a certain pilot: Plavis. If you think you have ever met someone who is completely and totally addicted to bombs, Plavis was that person. Not only have I received multiple (and I mean MANY) complaints from our allies and corpmates about his completely crazy bombing behavior when "bombs were not necessary", but I've personally almost died twice as a result of it. And it's not the fact that he's not good at bombing. He is. Very. Very. Very. Very. Very. Good.

Speaking of bombs, on to the main show...

*the lights dim*

It was a dark night in Eurgrana, filled with Stealthers and ED'ers tired after a long day's work, drinking their weariness away. However, one man sits alone, away from all the others, writing crazy and half-brained plans on a piece of paper. Suddenly finishing, he walks over to the others.

Securitas: "Hey guys, lets try something fun."

Everyone: "Not again, Securitas. I have to log."

Securitas: "Seriously guys, this time is different. I want everyone in a stealth bomber in five minutes."

Everyone else moaned and groaned but finally 24 ships sat outside of the station, 16 of which were stealth bombers, loaded to the gills with concussion bombs. One Stealther, who later that night was to become a hero (for about 10 minutes), sat instead in his trusty Blackbird ECM cruiser.

The command came to go and the gang made their way around, ducking into FDZ and losing a bomber in exchange for a Destroyer. People grumbled. It was not an auspicious start to the night. Finally, the fleet commander ordered an advance from FDZ towards the station system of BWF- in hopes that they would get a kill.

Halfway there, the forward scout in an Ares sights a Myrmidon on a gate, and due to bad luck misses him. The chase begins, with the awe inspiring sight of 17(2 more bombers joined) bombers decloaking at every gate before jumping, as well as a Falcon. Finally, the Ares catches up one jump out of BWF, and the glorious FC Securitas orders the fleet to open fire. The ensuing damage only came from 4 bombers, but he still popped inside of 30 seconds.

Having immense foresight, Securitas orders the fleet to get on the BWF- gate in anticipation for the retaliation fleet. A throwaway newbie scout jumps in and reports that yes, indeed, a large, 20-man fleet is waiting on the other side.

FWOOSH!

The gate activates and a single Claw comes in. There is a brief pause before he decloaks and burns back to the gate, only seeing a Blackbird, Huginn, an Ares, and an Atron on the gate. The air is thick in anticipation.

And then...

FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH FWO-FWO-FW-FWWWWOOOOSH. The gate flashes like crazy and enemy's tacklers decloak. Our Huginn, so outnumbered, flees. I could practically hear the enemy tacklers giggling as they pointed the Blackbird.

Tackler 1: "Oh, lol, a blackbird all by itself. Lets shoot it!"

Tackler 2: "OMG yeah. I wonder where the other 20 reds in local are. They're not on scan and all celestials are on scan. That must mea-"

Enemy FC: "Who cares, there's a kill to be had! Fleet, jump jump jump!!!!"

The gate flashes a lot more times and some heavy-hitters decloak in a nice little cluster. By now our Blackbird is giggling in vent as he jams the tacklers on him, just waiting to die.

Suddenly, the command comes. Bomber squad 1 decloaks and bombs.

Enemy Zealot: "Lol, this blackbird is melting. Oh, what are those things. OH CRAP! BOMBOMBOBMOM!!!!!!"

Boosh.

My Nemesis enters warp, ponderously turning while I curse the fact I didn't have enough time to line up a celestial. 50% shields...30%....70% armor....20% armor....60% structure...

Warp drive active.

As I and a few other bombers whizz off into the distance, we see a pair of bright explosions. The rest of the bombers drop their loads and bug out as we tally our losses.

Enemy:
Curse down.
Arazu down. This guy had a faction point too.
Zealot down.
And the pods.

Us:
Nemesis down. (I was dumb and came back)
Manticore down.
Blackbird down. (YAAAY VALATH)

All in all, a successful night. Unfortunately, we didn't kill more (which I think we could have) because bomber waves 2 and 3 fired at the same spot that wave 1 fired at, which was already a 15km dead zone.

This was what the guys in Stealthfield were really waiting for, a demonstration of the power of stealthed ships against a conventional fleet using hit-and-run, baiting tactics, and other such trickery.

In all honesty, it was a really good fight and props to Wildly Inappropriate. for bringing it. The above was written semi-sarcastically, so don't think my head is that big or that WI are bad enemies...they're not and I respect them.

Till next week,

-Sec